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Haven't finished my day one fic but here's my entry for @charles-rowland-week Day 2: Chorb!
I see a lot of cute orb-ghost content and love it, but for some reason when I sat down to write my brain went: that experience must be terrifying on both ends. Especially if it happens when they're pushed to the brink, a circumstance that otherwise leads to ghosts just... dissolving. Especially the first time.
So here's the first time!
***
Charles can't remember how he got here; he hasn't really got any idea where here is, except that the ground he's lying on is too hard and the light is so bright it burns his eyes whenever he opens them.
Though that might actually be something wrong with his eyes, judging by how much the rest of him hurts. He must have pissed someone off real bad, to be in this much pain, but he can't remember who or why. He hopes it was worth it.
"Charles," says a voice, a voice he knows. Edwin's here, and he sounds upset, and like he's trying to hide it. Charles manages to pry his eyes open for half a moment before the searing pain forces them shut again, but in that brief second he gets a glimpse of Edwin-- just his neck and the bottom of his face, the harsh press of his mouth.
Charles has seen that expression before, knows it comes along with wide eyes that give away what might look like frustration otherwise; this is the face Edwin makes when he's terrified.
Edwin shouldn't be terrified. Charles tries to reach for where he thinks he was, to comfort him, but just the idea of moving his arm reminds him of how much his shoulders hurt, and he half-screams before he can swallow the sound.
"Charles, just-- just lie still a moment," Edwin says beyond the roaring of his ears, and it shouldn't be a hard request with how much moving hurts, but Charles doesn't think he can bear to lie here like this much longer, the ground digging into him and the pain burning through his bones.
There's something wrong about that. Charles shouldn't be able to feel the ground, however hard it is; he doesn't actually have bones to burn.
He's dead, but he's still hurting, somehow, and that doesn't seem fair, does it? He'd sort of thought he'd escaped it, for a while. Maybe a little pain was the cost of being alive, but now-- unable to feel any good thing-- it just feels cruel.
He's so tired of hurting.
"Charles," Edwin's voice breaks through again, only this time the tone is different, somewhere beyond fear. "Charles, please, don't-- please just stay--"
His voice breaks on the plea. Because he is pleading, which is all kinds of wrong. Edwin doesn't beg when he's terrified; he goes silent and still like a hunted rabbit, which Charles hates with all his being but he hates this too. Edwin shouldn't beg. He shouldn't have to, not with Charles, who has embarked on the afterlife-long project of making him as happy as possible.
Not going anywhere, he tries to say, but his mouth doesn't want to obey him and instead he just sort of groans. He can't move his fingers-- he's not sure he has fingers, right now. They don't hurt anymore, but he can't really feel them either.
He remembers that: losing his fingers first, then his toes, then more and more. Edwin had been there then, too, strange and funny and unbelievably kind, and Charles hadn't had the chance to worry about his toes. Edwin had given him that gift, the gift of not being scared, and then he'd tried to run off like it was nothing, like after all that he'd thought Charles would just leave Edwin to the lingering terror in his eyes when he spoke of Hell.
That terror has never left completely, despite Charles' best efforts. He's started to think it never will, and the thought hurts, but at least he'd thought it was getting better; except now Edwin is terrified, and he's the one begging Charles to stay. He's still talking, somewhere beyond the pain, and though Charles can't make out the words, that heartbreaking tone is still there.
Charles isn't leaving him. He refuses. But he can't bear this either, the pain making it so hard to think, to remember. Edwin's voice is a lifeline, but it's getting more and more difficult to hear it, and he's not sure it's just the ringing anymore.
He's a ghost. He doesn't have ears to ring, not really, or bones to ache or eyes to burn when he opens them. Piece by piece, half on purpose and half unable to hold on, he lets it all slip away, until all that's left is the conviction: whatever happens, he wants to stay.
It feels a little like changing his hair, the way Edwin had taught him, just holding on to what he wants until that's what he is.
Mostly, though, it feels like dying.
***
He knows less and more, like this. He doesn't know where he is, and there's no feeling to help him guess, no pain or light or voice in the ears he doesn't have anymore. He doesn't know how he got here, doesn't know how long he's been here, doesn't even know who he is, really.
But he's not confused, because what he knows is this: he's dead, and it's not fucking fair, because he had so much left to do. He knows he was going to do better, that he was going to fix things, and now he'll never have the chance. Part of him seethes at that, and part of him just wants to take the hint and stop trying.
Except he also knows, somehow, that he does have another chance. That he's still here, even if he can't feel or taste or smell-- or even see or hear. That he can move things, somehow, change them, sometimes even fix them. He can solve crimes and save lives and on very good days he can make Edwin laugh.
He remembers that, the last time he'd made Edwin laugh-- just a little chuckle, really, but helplessly sincere, and the smile had stayed on his lips when he'd said, really, Charles--
The world unfolds around that voice speaking his name, first just memory into sound and then the awareness of ears to hear it, of a head to turn toward it and arms to push himself up, of something soft and forgiving under his palms, and of eyes he can open to see Edwin's face, remarkably close and blinking with surprise that, as Charles watches, collapses into relief.
"You came back," Edwin breathes. From this close, Charles can see the tears well in his eyes. Edwin, who he's seen burn half his hand off without even noticing, is crying over Charles.
It's not really a choice, to reach out with hands that still look a little misty and pull Edwin close. Edwin clutches him back, curling his hands in the back of Charles' shirt and tucking his chin over Charles's shoulder like if he just holds Charles close enough, he can hold him together.
Maybe he can. Charles curls his own fingers into Edwin's coat, breathes deep just to feel his ribs expand into Edwin's grip, ghost-cool but firm and real, real, real.
"I was afraid you were gone," Edwin says.
I was too, Charles doesn't say.
"Told you," he murmurs instead, "you're stuck with me."
#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#dbda#edwin payne#dbda fanfic#charles rowland week#something is bugging me about the structure of this so i might edit a bit before putting it on ao3#and im still learning the boys' character voices#but here it is! my first dbd fic#my writing#god how do people write short pieces this is so hard
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Shanks anon here and it’s so okay I always love reading your analysis/ the reasoning behind shanks’ character in your yandere fics! It makes your fics feel so real like the characters feel so.. in character when they typically feel ooc in yandere fics.
your response made me wonder- what would shanks or benn (or both ;)- okay I need to stop) be like with an emperor darling? Or an admiral darling since admirals are placed on the same power scale as emperors? I feel like this would require them to actually really have to strategize to get their darling since it’s not as easy as just flexing their position as an emperors crew and just snatching their darling up.
Thank you!! Honestly being OOC is something I worry about. I know it's not the biggest deal ever, it's fanfic and we're already warping things, but I very much obsess over whether or not things feel "right" enough to me, haha. Like yeah yandere versions of characters differ but there are still core aspects of a character that make them who they are.
Rambling under the cut, much lighter on Benn tbh... hint of suggestiveness at the absolute very end like literally the last sentence
Anyway if Mc is another Emperor, then Shanks is gonna try and pester them into an alliance, first of all. He's friendly and laying on the charm, but also a bit more serious than he would be with a civillian or less powerful/experienced pirate. You're someone who could actually potentially cause problems for him if he pushes too hard. A lot more passive, but pays special attention to your movements. If he runs into any of your subordinate crews or other members, he's friendly with them too- willing to assist them in battle if they bite off more than they can chew. Sends them back to you with gifts- both for them, and something meant to be delivered directly to you.
And he "runs into" you too, of course! Very frequently, actually. Throws a party, does his best to draw you and your crew in. All the better to give gifts directly, isn't it? Some quality alcohol is his go-to, but he likes you. Does his best to dig for any interests you may have, learn/estimate your clothing sizes... whether or not Benn is into you as well, Shanks tries to get him to dig a little as well. He'll grunt, maybe even roll his eyes, but approaches you all the same. Probably has more luck anyway, since according to that SBS he scores more ladies than Shanks lmao.
If it's Benn who's interested and not Shanks, then... I think it'd be funny if things don't change all that much, actually. Teases Benn for aiming high, but ultimately decides to try and be a good wingman for his first mate. It's the least he can do, after all! And if he does succeed in getting with you, the resulting alliance will be good for everyone, he reasons. Benn has a headache.
Benn would also send gifts, I think, but they're smaller. More personal and often functional. A small bottle of your favorite spirits, a leather-bound journal, a small piece of subtle but pretty jewelry. A replacement for a scabbard strap that snapped during a skirmish, an extra button when one popped off of your coat... was he even there for that? How did he notice..?
And Benn is no stranger to drinking and partying, of course, but he makes more relaxing company than Shanks. Won't pester you or drag you into things the same way Shanks will, happy to find somewhere a little quieter and just enjoy a shared drink and a moment of quiet.
All in all, kidnapping is far less likely to be on the table. You're on equal footing, and neither man wants the massive clash between Yonkos or the deaths that would result from it that could come from this. They both ultimately want you to like them, after all, and captivity wouldn't break the Will of someone like you even if they did manage it.
An Admiral Mc, on the other hand... oof.
This has a bigger chance of blowing up but Shanks is high-maintenance and loves to court danger. Takes care of troublemakers for you, which pisses you off because you do not need him for that, goddamnit. He likes to antagonize you, knowing you can't just start something without the input of the other Admirals. You're on par with him, but ultimately still a tool for the WG... if you fail, they're more likely to write you off as a failure than a loyal crew would. Would try to get you to defect. Aokiji did it after all, so it's not impossible. But if you're determined to remain a Marine, well... if he can beat you, kidnapping IS on the table here as an alliance is impossible. Uses the danger your subordinates are in against you. The gap between you and them is just too big, are you really willing to risk all of them..? It's worse for an Admiral, tbh. If they can't get you to leave the Marines and join them, and they succeed in taking you for themselves, they're more willing to break you than a fellow Yonko. Can see it becoming something akin to a brat-taming scenario, tbh.
#one piece x reader#asks#yandere one piece#shanks#benn beckman#red hair shanks#reader insert#but yeah Yonko reader thinks Shanks is weird and clingy but chances are good they never find out he's yandere#an admiral on the other hand...
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realising i had at least one 'public' breakdown a.k.a randomly starts crying uncontrollably at school or in public transportation omw from school every academic year during highschool and they didn't just start randomly happening in form 4 oops!
#i remember the ones from form 4 onward bc for some reason my memories younger than 16 are sketchy#like they're there but after lots of digging#also the two from form 4 are particularly solidified in my brain compared to others#bc they were when i had friends n my friends were arnd#whereas the others happened more solitary tho in public#like 2 happened on public transportation omw home so like it was me alone n strangers if tht makes sense#2 the first two happened in class but thr was b4 i had friends n i thought i wss hving an asthm attack#n told my teachers tht as an excuse#a next one happened b4 classes started n i went out to the balcony behind the classes which was pretty empty#one person noticed n asked if i was ok but tht was still b4 i actually had friends#and well ooh boy there were so many during covid which was my last yr of hs lol#oddly i dont remember any during the first year of uni COVID#but omg i had so much during the 2nd year uni in person#oh no wait i do remember at least one during uni covid online#in general now they just seem to happen more#but im also not sure how much is bc im aware now#bc again thinking back now i can unearth some memories of them happening pre form 4/ being 16#dk what other memories there are#n childhood memories are shot#n while ik i was sometimes prone to moods™#all instances or it was always excused bc of my asthma n other meds#which was true#even using them now still has the side effects so#but just slso now they happen whenever too sigh#it's just this constant realization of wait shit what if smth is really wrong cri#n it progresses beyond my control#n i cnt hide it anymore#sigh sigh sigh scary#cloud nonsense
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can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest
like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!
#me.txt#jjba#i'm going to ramble in tags actually. excuse me#ok. rereading sdc and so confused at the general perception of jotaro and his friends/family. he's not NEARLY as flat or as dickish#i understand that the anime (particularly the dub) tends to slander him but even then he still clearly cares for them! i'm confused#i also understand that a lot of people dig against jotaro and kakyoin as a dynamic because 'they're popular' and that generally disliking#popular things across media is a thing that i've seen consistently everywhere but the discredit to them simply as a DUO and not even as a#pairing is so..... odd..... like they're considered to be a duo that clicks for a reason. i enjoyed them even before i got into the fandom#every time i see someone say jotaro is overrated/dull i take a shot and assume they're an anime-only or only read the manga like once btw#joseph and jotaro also have a neat dynamic and they obviously both love and care for each other. like they're not going to go around loudly#or anything but literally the entirety of the lovers and the prelude to the dio fight IS jotaro being worked up over joseph getting hurt#equally i don't know if it translates to the anime as much but joseph is VERY complimentary when it comes to jotaro. like he sings his#praises so often and reminds everyone that he's his grandson so frequently (d'arby the gamer is a good example of this). either way it's so#peculiar....... there's not enough avdol and jotaro content btw (also in canon) because jotaro obviously looks up to him and avdol jokes#around with him on the occasion they interact after their intro which doesn't start very well. it's very cute#i do think an important thing to note about jotaro's character is how he acts AFTER his intro because he's so drastically different. early#jotaro and later jotaro aren't the same character and i do not mean this in a character development way. excluding the jail incident he's#completely different and probably shouldn't really be taken into account (especially considering the amount of slapstick in araki's intros)#and i think that's really???? what people center on for his character? Which sucks balls bad!#anyways. i could ramble more about this if asked i have so much to say but sigh. jotaro cares so much for his friends and family he's not a#flat fully cold asshole character regardless of whether you watch the anime or ova or read the manga. you just have poor media literacy#i wouldn't recommend watching solely the anime for his character though. the dub also changes a lot so it's... questionable#i love the anime and it's still important for him though. also adds neat stuff. i need to stop myself. i have many thoughts on the matter#jotaro kujo#joseph joestar#noriaki kakyoin#adding in case anyone sees: i am not saying that he is perfect about this. in fact he is very ass about it with jolyne and holly and that's#very important. he also is in fact an asshole sometimes. NOT as much as you guys are making him though!#please don't get me started on how much of a dick etc people make kakyoin to veer away from the 'woobified' characterizations of him#in fact i think that's bad if not worse because it CLAIMS to be in character. hes a prim asshole at times but not that angry or dishevelled
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undertale yellow. clutches head in anguish.
#[cherry on top]#undertale yellow spoilers#[..its still you]#anyways. finished my uty playthrough yesterday. oh my god.#^ that might be a bit of a surprise given that ive said like. nothing about it on here#but honestly i felt like positive-neutral about the game for most of it. like yeah it was good;#but nothing that drove me crazy. yknow? it was just an overall good game.#which is why i didnt really say anything about it#then it started picking up near the middle-end with the steamworks-#i enjoyed axis and guardener a lot; ceroba was a cool party member;#and the music in steamworks goes hard. one of my favorite tracks tbh#then there was the buildup to cerobas fight.#then i /got/ to cerobas fight and. crumples up into a ball AAUUUUUUUUUU#OH MY GODDDDDD#something about it made me shatter into a million tiny pieces.#a lot of things did actually. like how HARD IT WAS#i was stuck on her for OVER AN HOUR#BUT I DID IT. I DID IT LEGIT. IT WAS SO SATISFYING WHEN I FINALLY BEAT HER#god im just insane about ceroba rn. women who fuck up everything big time#and see no other option other than to dig their hole deeper because they sure as hell arent getting out of it#OH AND THE ENDING... BECAUSE OH MY GODDDD OF COURSE CLOVER WOULD DO THAT AHUGHHHHH#THEY'RE THE JUSTICE SOUL. THEY WANTED TO BRING MONSTERS TO JUSTICE AFTER ALL THEY FACED#OF FUCKING COURRSSSEEEEEEE AAAUUGHHHHH <- wail of anguish#KILLING AND MAIMING AND BITING.#SORRY. i needed to lose it for my mental health. quoting that one tiktok: 'im craeezay. im insaaane!'#for other tidbits i wanted to mention:#cerobas bossfight music went HARD. i fucking love the phase 3 transition especially with her yelling as the music starts;#that black hole attack can go fuck itself;#and if you were wondering how long it took me to beat uty. it was around 10-11 hours for a pacifist route.#anyways i totally need to play more games. that was fucking awesome and i need to experience more things like that
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— SMALLVILLE, “Wither” (6.03)
#can't believe they danced together in a fountain and we didn't get to see it 😭#anyway I love the comfortable physicality of this scene#like lex talking with his hands while still holding lana's hand in the second to last gif#and the fact that they're both walking around the mansion barefoot#and their smiles!! (especially in gifs 2 and 6!)#(pretty sure this is the last time we really see lex genuinely smile like this... but that's depressing so let's not think about it)#(also I could obviously dig into lex refusing to admit that he's actually happy but hoo boy I don't have time for all that lol)#in my head time stopped here and nothing bad happened after this like that's it THE END#smallville#smallvilleedit#svedit#lex luthor#lana lang#lexana#sv 6x03#dcmultiverse#my gifs#I told y'all that I had a gifset from this ep floating around in my drafts somewhere lol#not pictured here: me fist-fighting the smallville lighting department in a denny's parking lot
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wip
i like that side look eye too much i need to spread this to the world
#which is why i made this blog in the first place tbh#just#hound#hound and houndy act like puppy#hunter puppy#glue a picture of puppy to your face#you can only stop me by directly blacklisting me#my mind is beyond repair they are literally the reason why i draw AT ALL#*smooch their snoot*#i hardly look at them recently i am trapped in d2 onslaught#(and also apex generally has nothing to really motivates me to log in after finishing season pass)#(and having played for 2 years)#(and 2311 hours)#(that's high for a nerd like me)#one of my classmate said if i play houndy then i can't look at them anymore#i mean. yeah but i also wanna hear them okay#also not a lot of people play houndy so there's a huge chance our team won't have a hound at all#(by a lot i mean >99%)#(my standards are high)#anyways i really seldom have pure houndy content now#i used to only draw houndy like ~1.5 years ago#but you will have to delibrately dig those out on the internet because they're so ugly#and generally not really interesting#yes these are not my lower bound#okay if i don't continue drawing i'm gonna sleep soon so that's it for now#apex legends#apex bloodhound#bloodhound#bloodhound apex#my art
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As someone who has lived in the south where the water trough is anywhere from mildly annoying to actively terrifying, who has lived on a fairly decently sized island where it is indeed absolutely terrifying to be cut off from the mainland suddenly with little to no help from the government for an extended period of time--
After No Man's Land and all the issues that arose then, I'd like to propose the new way of interring their dead would be mausoleums. Possibly especially with Gotham canonically existing on a system of caves. An island made of caves on the East Coast that gets battered by hurricanes almost every year is just asking to get sunk a la Atlantis but its fucking Gotham and i think the Gothamites would raise it from the sea floor again out of sheer spite.
But with mausoleums you:
Dont have your son crawling six feet through packed dirt after inexplicably coming back to life
Dont have long buried coffins and corpses getting flooded/shaken/otherwise disturbed and shunted into the water system/streets/underground reservoirs (or Lazarus Pits, since there's one of those down there too, as if Gotham didn't have enough things wrong with it)
Continues the Gotham aesthetic
Have more places for various characters to have a private mental breakdown in
Have more places for various characters to find ominous warnings etched or graffiti'd on the walls
Have more places for things much older than the mausoleums have been En Vogue™ for to inexplicably appear and send shivers down the spine
The Gothamites are very firm about not really being part of the US. The US kind of looks at the South like we're really fucking strange, and the South looks at New Orleans like they've taken the South and concentrated it, carbonated it, and shook it really hard.
I want the same vibes for Gotham. This is their home. They are weird and stubborn to a fault and everything is on fire and the government is corrupt and the people aren't always good but nobody else understands. No one else ever could. Who else has seen the lights for rescue appear on the horizon only to see the light of death on the waters, ensuring no help would ever come? They are resourceful and violent and resentful but the gods won't help you if you cross one of their own.
#the stoneworkers built Gotham#if it existed in reality itd be a marvel of nature's construction#if No Man's Land went as it did it'd be the metalworkers and stone masons to build the city back up#and with the earthquake everyone would be utterly terrified to dig into the ground. not after having to excavate the subways.#Jason comes back to Gotham and it has Changed.#in the scant year(s?) between No Man's Land and Jason's return there are buildings gone and buildings entirely new#but look like they're a century old. because the stonemasons and metalworkers had to work with what they had.#and what they had was ruins and a lot of them had to work together to piece metal and stone together to make something unshakeable#gotham is the embodiment of the riches and ruins that was the 1920s in America and a lot of the architecture of the time#was either very practical or very maximalist#the Chrysler building in NYC was built in that era and is a shining example of both#so please imagine with me: cobbled stone hewn into fitted shapes‚ held together with radial metal lines curves.#i think later down the line Gotham U would be an architectural and civil engineering powerhouse#Gotham's architecture would be akin to that of a bunker. unshakeable. wind resistant. blast resistant.#composed of materials that make it easy to wipe everything down after a flood and continue on.#after Katrina my centuries old school literally mopped the walls and ushered us back in inside of two weeks#my family and i had been rescued from our island only days prior#shh ruby world building is not always for the tags
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🖤 for misa about light ??
attractiveness:
repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.
personality:
grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.
how likely they would have sex with them:
not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / I’m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.
level of friendship:
never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends (eventually, over time) / my only friend. (eventually, over time)
first impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.
current impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.
send 🖤 and my character will answer about yours; specify. || ALWAYS ACCEPTING || @prodigum.
#answered.#dynamic; misa & light.#brb kms#italics mean sometimes !! the present is all answered in the context for the on the run / survival au !!#anyway she ............. loves that man. SO MUCH#despite everything#like. especially after That she feels shell never be pretty enough tall enough kind enough compassionate enough smart enough or sexy enough#even though logically she KNOWS she's the shit#like she already struggles to forge genuinely meaningful connections w/ people especially w/ bpd#i genuinely think even if she's the second kira she'd try to use her vast fame & platform for humanitarian causes#& i think she'd try to influence light to do the same w/ her in the hopes of creating that new world light always wanted#im personally of the belief that despite how oof the beginning of their relationship was that there WAS some tenderness there#bc like im sorry u dont go through SIX YEARS of being w/ sb & not have any affection for sb thats just not how it works lmao#& we talked about them a fuckton in dms already on how eventually in this au they slowly start to get closer after losing everything#& its rly sweet & like really fucking sad at the same time. bc like. it took That Long for him to finally recognize her worth & how she's.#really the only one who truly genuinely unconditionally loved him & he's like. astonished by that. & it took him literally almost dying#& especially after That reveal like they get a lot closer#but the fact that she literally dies not longer after him literally on the exact same day as him tells you everything you need to know#she loved that man SO MUCH. they're each other's red thread of fate but where it digs into the hands like red barbed wire & bleeds.#anyway they make me so fucking feral#prodigum
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Well, I've been wanting to make a post about what I like about show!daniel, but I want to write most of it on a day where I'm not in as much pain and I can articulate myself better, but for now:
Daniel is a complete dickhead. He's a bitter, mean old man. He makes a point of putting his flaws on display so that other people can't hurt him with jabs about his failed marriages and children who resent him. He goes out of his way to avoid using any tact, using his journalism as an excuse even when that's the reason his interpersonal relationships all collapse, to the degree that it's like he has no self-preservation in front of 2 bloodthirsty monsters. He's a total asshole. He has plenty of regrets, he's scared of his own mortality, he's in pain, and he's making it everyone else's problem.
... And I love that! 🥰
Maybe it's the cat person in me, but I really enjoy fictional characters who are deliberately written to be unlikable. I find it really refreshing and, in a way, cathartic, because I'm also a complete dickhead. In a world where the vast majority of characters are these silly little caricatures of humanity that have carefully selected flaws that can be excused away, that don't have bad intentions and all their conflicts revolve around a comical misunderstanding... I enjoy it a lot whenever characters are just allowed to reflect the selfishness and pettiness of human nature.
I feel like that kind of realism is doubly satisfying when this is a character in his 70's; kinda like what eric said about the idea younger people have about old men being wholesome, older people in fiction don't usually get to be cranky and shitty. They're kinda pigeonholed into being grandmas knitting, cooking, slipping their grandkids money, or grandpas helping build something or paint or give the right advice, etc. And that's ridiculous, right, because we all know that old people aren't all cookie-cutter shaped and can be horrendous trainwrecks. There's a lot of shit daniel does that reminds me of my own asshole grandparents, or the patients my mom gets for hospice that come with a warning. (These are her favorite patients, so that's probably part of why I gravitate towards asshole characters too.) These defense mechanisms exist to protect yourself from being hurt and maintain the fantasy of being in control, when people inevitably decide to withhold compassion/kindness/human dignity from you.
So, like I said, it's refreshing and inch resting to me; I like that he says something mean in a deadpan voice and 2 handsome young-looking vampires start giggling and twirling their hair, I like that he gets to have a sort of "coming out of the closet" realization after a lifetime of failed connections and loneliness, I like that he gets to become a sexc gilf vampire, I hope to god he gets some good dicking down in-universe/on-screen, and I'm happy that eric got his wish of playing a vampire. I had no idea that I wanted this, but apparently this is the kinda gay rep that I, personally, wanted!!! It's exciting, it's fun, I'm having a great time
... Well, this got way longer than I was intending to write today... but I didn't really want to Just say that I enjoy that he's an asshole; I wanted to elaborate on why instead of it sounding like a juvenile jokey post
#erin talks#text#long post#analysis#also . my mom is an asshole too ♥️#it's a lineage of assholes ♥️#even if I resent a lot of my family it's easy for me to read between the lines for vulnerability & become fond#bc these examples are just how we communicate#like that one del toro quote about how irl no one makes quipy jokes?#my family does . bc we have to be 25 paces away from showing a genuine emotion or we'll die#it's a cry for help it's loneliness it's a plea for someone to look past the facade & embrace us at our core#& That . is how both armand & daniel feel & part of why they click so well together#daniel wants to ignore propriety & dig until he has the whole ugly truth & armand is 500 yrs + 3 identities deep#they're both lonely they're both scared of vulnerability they both self-sabotage & they both want to be someone's first choice#esp after a 77 yrs long hollow performance
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#tag talk#I think one of the reasons therapy is so hard is that it's not like I show up and talk about the problem I have.#I show up and have to list all thirty seven problems and explain how their separate and how they're intertwined#I had my third hour-long appointment with my therapist who I feel genuinely hopeful about and there's still issues I haven't talked about#and I get that a lot of these separate issues are really just a basket of extreme symptoms from a few core issues#but it's been so long that they've grown and rooted on their own so it's not just a matter of digging out the original roots. not anymore.#and I do feel like I've made progress. I've made immense progress. the mood stabilizer alone is giving me loads of new data to process.#without it the mood phase I'm in right now would be morose and gloomy with manic energy turned inward to self loathing.#I started that direction a day or so ago because I forgot/didn't care to take my meds and started slipping#but I took my pills and bam I leveled out. and that's nice. I feel calm and serene.#hmm. I've been like this before though. after some sort of emotional high which I did have for a bit.#idk. I'm hopeful I'm positive I'm optimistic but still#I need to talk to my therapist about the feeling like a joke. I'm weird I'm interesting I'm novel I'm strange I know it already.#I'm lonely#I'm tired of being different. of being set apart. of being holy. divine.#I want to be normal. not a spectacle to gawk at or even appreciate. I want to be unremarkable. I want to fit in.#my therapist has enjoyed talking with me. I'm very funny. very charming. tough to keep up with apparently.#those things are intended as compliments but they also just remind me of how alone I am. different. set apart.
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Andrus Laansalu talked about making Disco Elysium at EKA (Estonian Academy of Arts)
"Initially, the church wasn't a focal point. There were certain characters that needed to visit this location, and I asked, "Seriously, what do we have in our church?" The others replied, "Nothing at all. Our church is completely bare—just a wheel, really. It's quite basic."
That's when I decided to unleash my creativity in the design. For example, they chose to install a glass structure at the top of the church to create a reflective surface. It was like placing an optical clock up there. Therefore, one of the most crucial aspects of designing the church was ensuring the lighting was just right to create the desired atmosphere."
"Let me show you an example of Baroque architecture, which is rich in detail. We're also designing the interior of the church based on large cathedrals. However, the foundation you use might not yield the expected results, because the church itself doesn't require such intricate details. Sometimes, it's about simplifying the design."
"I used Articy for the initial scriptwriting of Disco Elysium. The image only represents a tiny fraction of the text and choice variables involved. This system was also the reason I eventually abandoned the project after a year of outlining the script and shifted my focus to becoming a sound designer. My mind struggled to keep up with the dynamic graphic rules, but fortunately, a more talented writer took over afterward."
"In terms of sound design, it's essential to develop different layers to bring out the charm of the church as a cohesive space. Although this represents only a small portion of the overall design, each layer actually requires a significant amount of time to compose the whole....... Whenever there's a shift or a change due to the dialogue itself, you need to adjust the background sounds. Each time you modify the details in the dialogue, I have to refine the background audio, ensuring that these elements build upon each other like an intricate layer of work."
"It's funny how many scenes involve characters getting smacked in the face. My job was to recreate those, so I locked myself in the bathroom with a recorder and hit my forehead until it turned red.
As a sound designer, I really dig those unsettling, drill-like sounds. So, I mixed in creepy lectures, metal scraping, moans, and cries of pain—because I just love that stuff! (laughs)
Players will be moving through all kinds of areas, so it's super important to make the sound transitions feel natural, trying to create a more immersive vibe in certain spaces.
With all the scenes featuring big cranes, you can hear them from far away, and I wanted to capture that eerie ringing in your ears. That's going to be a thing throughout most of the game. I've found ways to really mess with players while they're playing!"
"I've come across a lot of old objects (like phones and radios) that I needed to perfectly replicate the sounds. I started to become a bit of a hoarder, buying up different models of old phones whenever I found one to add to my collection. The sound effects I can simulate from them are really impressive."
"Some of the devices don't actually exist in real life—just a mix of architecture and tech. When I need to create sound effects, I first look for something similar that exists in our world, then I try to simulate what the sound and appearance of that thing might have been like a century ago.
Towards the end of the game, there's a character carrying a fuel canister. We needed the sound of the canister, so we dug one up from our garage—it had been sitting there since it was five! I realized this would make the sound perfect. So, it had been there for 50 years, and after 40 years, it finally found its purpose.
In some places, I needed unique sound waves, and recreating them was a real headache until one day I happened to walk by a swimming pool and stumbled upon an old wartime torpedo. You can rotate the torpedo's probe, and it slowly rises up, like a proud zombie head. The sounds it made were exactly what I needed!"
🙋How did you manage to get funding?
"Well, since we're in Estonia, you just need to know a wealthy person. You don't need five people—just two who can network, hang out together, and convince them to keep investing! (laughs) Back then, we constantly ran out of money and would tell them, 'Oops, looks like we spent it all! Can you invest a bit more?' That's how we made it through!"
🙋How did you all come together to make the game?
"Luck. It usually doesn't happen this way, and that's the key difference. It has to be. If not, you couldn't create a game of this scale - well, I mean in terms of budget. But creatively, Estonia definitely has writers and artists who can pull it off. With such a small population, there are a lot of quirky folks who are good friends. We were really lucky, though - lots of fortunate circumstances came together. It brought the right people together, allowing those talented fools to collaborate with us. They had experience but hadn't tackled projects of this magnitude before. So yeah, luck is pretty important!"
Lecture experience shared by 白兔YIYANG SUN on 小红书, reposted & translated by me with her permission.
#disco elysium#inspiration#I was so touched by the parts#50 yrs later the old fuel can was found#and the torpedo does art not harm#i need to take down notes#sobbing#you guys are a miracle
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:/ the volume on her emotions is so loud all the time even when she's desperately trying to ignore things and it means that everything goes to her by default while she does all her messy thinking and processing. and I pack it up until later cuz nobody asked and later is never coming.
#yes I told them I was sad after she'd had some time to sit and slow down#it's kinda like since I tell them what I feel and why as soon as I can#they're like 'oh okay that's settled then'#whereas she often struggles to identify what she's feeling and why and very rarely announces it unprompted#or even repeatedly prompted.#so we spend a lot of time talking about her emotions cuz there's a lot of digging that needs doing just to establish what's going on.
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Types of lingerie they'd go a little feral over — plus-size!fem!reader x cod characters
Includes: Price, Soap, Ghost, Gaz, König, Graves, Alejandro, Rudy, Valeria
CW: mid/plus-size reader, photos of people wearing lingerie!, mentions of sex/sexual activities
Photos are not indicative of reader's body type/skin colour/other physical attributes! Just meant to be examples, but us bigger girls deserve some rep on here (but also why is it so hard to find cute pics of mid/plus-size girlies that aren't ads or extremely edited?)
All rights go to owners of the photos! I tried to crop out their faces as best I could <3
John Price
Price would love anything feminine. He adores when you play into his housewife kink, parading around the house in babydoll dresses and fur-lined robes (preferably sheer). He wouldn't even bother with taking the pieces off once he gets his hands on you, simply pulling and adjusting where necessary. Not above ripping either, but don't worry, he'll gladly buy you some new sets. Maybe he should get you some of those crotchless panties, poppet, would save him a lot of hassle.
Johnny 'Soap' Mactavish
Listen, as much as he loves it seeing you all dolled up, there is nothing that gets him going quicker than you in some raggedy, hole-ridden comfy clothes, preferably when they're his. His boxers framing your plump ass so nicely, digging into your flesh a bit when you move and his shirt doing nothing to hide the jiggle of your tits while your nipples poke through the fabric. If he sees you like this, his hands are all over you in a split second. God forbid your shirt is cropped, showing off your soft tummy and the underside of your breasts — you couldn't pry him off with a crowbar.
(you cannot tell me Johnny doesn't own some dumbass boxers like this)
Simon 'Ghost' Riley
In fear of repeating myself, I think Simon would also go a little dreamy-eyed over you in your comfies. Except, unlike Johnny, he loves those sweet little pj-sets you wear. He's still a little taken aback every time he comes home to you curled up on his — your — couch. The realization that he has something this sweet to come home to — that he has a home at all, hitting him like a freight train. Like Price, doesn't bother taking your pajamas off when he pounces on you. Just makes it easier for him to tuck you into bed after he's done with you.
Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick
Garters, belts, straps, buckles, the whole thing. And best believe he's the one picking them out, too. You'll randomly find boxes on your bed, the contents in different styles, colours, fabrics. He insists you model them for him, or send him pictures if he's deployed. The sets are an absolute nightmare to get into, but he'll gladly help you take them off, darlin'. Don't mind him though, if he snaps a photo or two in the process. Also loves it when you wear lingerie as part of an actual outfit. What can I say, the man loves showing you off (with the knowledge he's the only one that gets to see the full sets and everything underneath them later).
König
Anything resembling some cheap halloween costume from party city. It honestly doesn't matter to him what; sexy secretary, naughty nurse, you name it. Literally whatever. He will lose his mind a little if you go as far as to engage in some roleplay pertaining to whatever you're wearing — acting like he's your boss or your patient. Oh, a pair of animal ears can and will make his eyes roll back in his head. (He will, however, ensure that your outfits are of relatively good quality — they've gotta outlast a least a few rounds, Schatzi).
Philip Graves
Ugh, he's so nasty (affectionate). He wants you to look hyper-feminine. His perfect little all-american wife (even if you've never set foot in the usa, or don't yet wear a ring on your finger) in her hyper-feminine lingerie, waiting for her soldier to come home. Frilly bras, lacy undies and silky night dresses in white or pink or any pastel shade. He gets off on the innocence they exude — makes him want to ruin you. And then wife you up. Maybe give you a baby or two.
Alejandro Vargas
Corsets!!! Or anything somewhat structured, really. This man adores the shape of your body no matter what, and the way the corset only accentuates the curve of your waist and pushes your tits up so deliciously has him rock fucking hard. If you choose to add some thigh-highs to that with the plush fat of your thighs spilling over the edge you may as well have killed him. He also has this weird infatuation with the marks the corset leaves on your skin after you (or he) take it off.
Rodolfo 'Rudy' Parra
This poor man nearly faints the first time you wear lingerie for him (and pretty much every time after that). It doesn't particularly matter to him what it is, but he does like it when you stick to the classics: simple lacy bra and panty set. He likes that it makes you feel confident and (relatively) comfortable, as your comfort is always his number one priority. He also just thinks the simplicity of the sets helps accentuate the beauty of your body, rather than distract from it.
Valeria Garza
Anything expensive. Like, crazy expensive. She has the money, amor, why not spend it on something she enjoys? She'll make sure you only wear the highest quality fabrics (and that goes for all your clothing, by the way, she likes taking care of her girl). There are diamonds glittering all over your body, highlighting all your curves and twinkling with every move you make, and a nice string of pearls disappearing between your folds.
(I couldn't find ANY photos of this type of lingerie on bigger bodies, my apologies. Rest assured Valeria will get everything custom-made for you — remember, only the best for her girl)
#group posts#cod x reader#cod mwii#cod modern warfare#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#soap x reader#johnny mactavish x reader#price x reader#john price x reader#gaz x reader#kyle garrick x reader#konig x reader#könig x reader#graves x reader#philip graves x reader#alejandro x reader#alejandro vargas x reader#rudy x reader#rodolfo parra x reader#valeria garza x reader#valeria x reader#cod imagine#141 x reader#task force 141 x reader#task force 141#simon ghost x reader#call of duty#captain price#ghost
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The 141 finding out you've never had sex.
Just casually drinking, playing cards. A joke causes it to slip out.
body electric: the virgin edition
Gaz, the instigator, mutters something about not having been fucked in ages. this springs up a sudden surge of comradery, because, yeah. neither have they.
Soap's devote Catholicism (i like to imagine) leaves little room for flippant intimacy. he tries to be a good boy. key word, of course, being: tries. but the last serious relationship was years ago. back when he was grunt. he's pent up. abstinence, yeah? he holds it tight in his hand. but the thing about fists is that they're often mistaken for anger. Soap's a realist masquerading as an optimist. he knows whoever falls into his jowls next will be a MacTavish by the time he's through with them. and commitment. well. his comes at a price. a hefty one.
Ghost prefers casual flings where he doesn't have to take any clothes off. unzips his trousers, frees his cock, and then tries to pretend he's a real, flesh and blood, human. to feel something, anything, except a vacuum between hollow bones. but his tastes are peculiar. on the side of unhinged. he hasn't found the perfect body yet satiate himself with.
Price. well. with his bloody hands, he thinks he'd rather not dirty the same people he swears to protect. and divorcing at the age of 30 does that to a man, maybe. his role as a captain (an excuse in retrospect) also keeps him from unleashing his wants. the very same ones that are probably best under lock and key, anyway. it's just for the best, really. something he ought to do because the moment he has another chance to sink his teeth into someone's neck, he'll tear them apart. break them into pieces.
despite bringing it up, Gaz knows the real reason he's single is because he's pushy. he wants. so he takes. and then takes some more. more. more. until his gullet is full of the person he's obsessed with. carrying them around in his breast pocket everywhere he goes. the perfect mate. the one he can shower with unfettered affection. a deluge, in all honesty. one with the ideation to drown. biblical floods. trapped beneath him. he likes it more than he should, but. singedom, then, he supposes.
and then you roll the dice. admit, sheepishly, that, technically, you have them all beat. zero is always lesser than five, ten, twenty. but it's this misstep—zero, never—that catches their attention.
suddenly, you're not surrounded by kin but a pack of wolves. all hungry in their own ways, all starving. it just makes sense to quench their hunger with you, doesn't it? friend, ally. pretty little thing. so sweet for them. and perfectly mouldable. putty they shape to their hearts desire. the perfect mate.
Soap grips his rosary. the sign of the cross, heavenly Father and Holy Spirit, digging into his palm like the burn of a baptism. what's devotion if not pain? he cuts himself on the gold. offers blood of the sacrament to whoever might be listening, and leans in, sniffing.
Price's knuckles are white. he leans back, hidden in shadows. all you can see is spark of burning orange from his cigar as he takes mouthful after mouthful of smoke, contemplating. assessing.
"that so?" he doesn't even need to look at his Lieutenant to know that the man has gone still. too bad for you, it's not from shock.
Ghost barely holds himself back. keeps tight in his seat. fists clenching. unclenching. he has a good enough read on the people around him to see the unfiltered desire ripping across their face. scorching. but to bite, with his mouthful of jagged, seraded teeth; ones meant to rip, break, tear, would ruin you. permanently. unequivocally. and—
"wanna give it a go?" all eyes turn to Gaz, electric in his seat. eyes smouldering umbre. "i mean, you trust us the most, don't you?" us. it's stunning, he thinks, the way Gaz can weave tapestry in the air like this with just his words. one tangled like shibari binds. "and we care for you a lot. we'll be gentle. it's up to you, of course, but—"
Soap's bloody hand disappears under the table. you gasp. "yer askin' fer it, ain't ye? beggin' so pretty fer it."
"n-no, i—"
"mind your manners." Price. his voice is chiselled into char, authoritative; low. a lulling command spoken in a breath of smoke. "and don't lie, love. or i'll have to take you over my knee."
the tension is thick. Soap's arm moves, slow. deliberate. Ghost has clench his jaw to avoid bearing his teeth. snarling.
Gaz cuts it with a knife. hews compliance into your skin with a fine needle point. "it's okay. we'll take such good care'a you. make you feel so good."
your submission is a heavy thing. oppressive. the shallow dip of your chin, the blistering heat simmering under your flesh, burning right, is the prettiest fuckin' thing he's ever seen. he does clench his jaw this time. tight, tight. tight
until something pops.
"okay." you yield. head bowed. beautifully submissive.
when he looks around, catches the predatory crackle in the air. his hackles raise. immediate. instinctual. and ah, right.
it's easy to forget he's surrounded by a wild pack of stray dogs. starving ones, too.
#141 x reader#my grandpa is going into town and im going w hin so i wrote this on the way sorry for the mistakes
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Thanks to my datemate I was able to find a bunch of valentines day frogs at goodwill yesterday and one pink beanie baby 🥺
#as you guys may know my datemate works for goodwill#he technically isn't supposed to tell me about things to shop for#but he does it anyways#he doesn't always show everything tho! most stuff I find on my own#in faft only one of the frogs I bought were shown to me. the others I discovered mixed in!#I also found a limited edition spring bear from 2007 STILL WITH the pin in its hang tag#bit I didn't get her (yet) because I only had a small bag and was going to work after thrifting#I shoved her to the very bottom of the bin which is packed full of plushies rn#including a lot of massive sized ones. so I don't think anyone's gonna dig her up yet#I might be able to snag her tomorrow if Im right about people not digging#if not then it wasn't meant to be. Im not as in love with her coloring as I am Maple's#who is the autumn bear from the same limited edition collection#They're Build a bears btw#the spring one was in perfect condition just like Maple but even more new because she has all attachments#no outfit tho but most of the time I don't like clothes on my bears#but I thought it was a super cool fibd so hopefully I can get her#but anyways!! the frogs!!#one is pink with magenta polkadots#another is pale green holding a pink heart#the last one is a paler green with a red ribbon around his neck#and he's holding a red heart that says ''I got You Babe“#he has a sound box in him but its thankfully broken#I mostly hate plushies that make sounds#the only exceptions would be Momo (a plush lemur I used to have made by Yoohoo toys that I want to buy again)#and a plush that would be made with a personalized sound (like if my datemate made me a BAB and put a voice message in it)#anything else no ty. the sound box makes the plush uncomfortable to hug#aaanyways#viti shoosh
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